So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
