just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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