I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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