So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
