Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.