i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.