i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want her autograph on my taint
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
