Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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