my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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