I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
