I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
