barbara walters just said penis...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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