day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
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I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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