Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
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