That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
