I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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