Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
