did you get engaged???
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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