I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have demons in me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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