I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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