Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
