At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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