We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
