you mean i was at the winter classic?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
