You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
