I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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