I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
