My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
a search helicopter?!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
