I'm so fucking centered right now
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
