my sisters under your porch take her home
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize