I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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