Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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