We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize