i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No I am not eating basil off your cock
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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