I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
