Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
