we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
