you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
