The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
