I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
