How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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