Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
