it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
