Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize