he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
