i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
