I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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