i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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