she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
