Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize