is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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