I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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