..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
