I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
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Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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