I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
