Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
