we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
