yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
my liver is dry heaving
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
