Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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