i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
