Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
