Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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