you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
