How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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