Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
