3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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