I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
