Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
